Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
