3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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