I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
