The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
