he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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