Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
