Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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