well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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