sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
