why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
