are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
