Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i think im in europe. pls send help
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
