Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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