Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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