I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
