I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I will die if light touches me.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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