Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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