READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
even my farts smell like vagina
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
