it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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