Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
