you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
