I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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