We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
