my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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