my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
