So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
