It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
