Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
