What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I am spending my child support on dildos
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you made out with another girl for some wings
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
