When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
