i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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