I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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