Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
then he tried to convert me to islam
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
