i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
