4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
