Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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