I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
