I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
