I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
