You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just invented taco cereal.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
