so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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