pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
