i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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