if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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