i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
