Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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