Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
