I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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