can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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