so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
